


In My Hour Of Darkness

by HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Bottom Castiel, Character Death, Destiel - Freeform, Dubious Consent, Hostage Situations, M/M, Major Character Injury, Rimming, Scarification, Serial Killer Dean, Stockholm Syndrome, Top Dean, Victim Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:36:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4223685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers/pseuds/HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester, A sociopath traumatically scarred from witnessing the murder of his mother at a young age sets his sights on a man named Castiel. After a chance encounter leads him to believe that he's the guardian angel that his mother always told him about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Hour Of Darkness

Chapter One  
  
  
  
  
  
                                            **  
  
  
  
  
  
You would think such a day would tremble to begin.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_  
  
  
Officious looking son of a_ _bitch_......  
  
  
  
  
Dean Winchester thought to himself with contempt as he followed the nameless dick he's set his sights on through the crowded sidewalk. The stranger looked like someone Dean would like to have some fun with in his basement. It had been a while since he'd taken a victim... And needless to say he's been climbing the walls, and today he was hunting. This particular stranger caught his attention when he saw him at the market. Sunlight caught the gentleman's eyes, too light a shade of hazel that in the sunlight cast a sickening yellow gleam that made the Winchester's stomach drop and his blood boil.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Flashback  
  
November 2, 1983  
  
  
  
  
  
The floor felt cold under the child's feet as he slid out bed, awoken by... Something? Mommy? Is that what it was? He peeked his head out from his bedroom to peer down the hall. The child walked with trepidation. Fingers entangling in the hem of his pajama shirt as he padded down the dim hallway, only lit by the nightlight shinning from his new little brother's nursery at the end of the hall.  
  
  
"Mommy?...."  
  
  
  
"Get away from my baby!"  
  
  
  
  
His mother's voice demanded and the child started running. He was brave, just like his mother would want him to be. He didn't know what was waiting for him in that nursery. He didn't know of the intruder who had broken into the house through the sliding glass door that wasn't properly latched. He didn't know about the arsonist who had been breaking into homes over the last six months and killing the families inside before setting the house aflame. His Mommy would send him out of the room when they would talk about it on the six o' clock evening news, children shouldn't have to know about that sort of thing. They deserved to feel safe in their own home and know there was nothing to fear cause they had Angel's watching over them.  
  
The child made the corner in a huffed rush to see his mother scrambling in fear for the crib to reach his little brother. Even the fear etched into his Mommy's features could not take away from her gentle beauty.  
The smell in the room overwhelmed him. The smell that brought him memories of weekend morning sitting in the grass watching Daddy work on the car in the driveway. Dean knew the smell well. The smell was gas...  
But this smell didn't belong in the house. Mommy would have Daddy wash up before dinner just cause of this smell.  
His mother's cries drew him out of his thoughts as the tall stranger splashed more gasoline, drenching and soaking through his Mommy's white nightgown. His little brother was crying and Dean knew Mommy would want Sammy out of here. Something bad was happening, it wasn't safe. Dean was brave.  
The child ran behind the tall stranger to step up onto the small stool that was always there for him when he wanted to visit with his little brother. Dean reached inside with small awkward arms pulling Sammy out and held him bundled to his chest just as the tall stranger turned to catch Dean in the act. He froze in fear and his Mommy erupted in screams  
  
  
"Dean! Run, baby! Run! Take Sammy and run as fast as you can! Mommy will be alright, Dean! GO! GO NOW!"  
  
  
His Mommy begged in broken sobs as she lunged forward grabbing at the arms of the tall stranger. Gasoline sloshing up the sides of the can spilling out all over her and the discarded baby toys strewn innocently across the floor. Dean ran. He held his little brother protectively to his chest, a baby too heavy almost for his small four year old arms. Dean stopped in the doorway in time to see the man pulling something small and metallic from his pocket. Mommy screamed for Daddy. Mommy didn't know that the tall stranger had visited on Daddy first and Daddy could not come. Dean cried out for his Mommy who was clutching at the tall stranger's wrist desperately fighting the inevitable. Mommy turned to see Dean trembling in the doorway and she fought the stranger harder.   
  
  
"No! No! Not in front of my baby! You wont do this in front of my baby! Please!"  
  
  
His Mommy's shoulders trembled in a sob as she was loosing the battle.  
  
  
"Run, baby! Run! It's all going to be okay, your Angel's here, he's watching over you! Just run!"  
  
  
The child followed his Mommy's orders, if the angel was here and was going to save him, surely he would save Mommy too and everything would be alright. He ran. He ran hard. He ran down the stairs, his mothers screams ringing in his ears. Her screams changed, they became shrilled and distorted, swallowed up by a roar, a crackling roar that sounded like the end of the world. The entire upstairs consumed by an orange light that flickered and burned his eyes, Dean turned once he reached the foot of the stairs to see the tall stranger standing atop them, yellow eyes reflected in the flames. A monsters eyes.  
Dean kept running and made his way out the front door to be scooped up into the arms of neighbors who overheard the commotion. They carried him and his little brother to safety. It wasn't long before their small neighborhood was flooded with sirens and police who put out the fire and arrested the tall stranger.  
The news reports were relieved to be able to announce that there were at least two little survivors. But they were wrong. There was only one. Just little Sammy. The other child, he never came out of that house. Something broke in him that night. The other child died in that room with his Mommy. The boy was empty and fractured, a soul now marked and distorted by the evil that found it's way into their home that night. The broken boy would grow up to be a broken man.  
Angry. Lost. Psychotic, and most of all...Dangerous.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Present day   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dean Winchester laid low in the back of the crowd, buying his time. Waiting for the right moment. He liked taking guys like this apart. Punishing them for what their likeness had done to him and his Mother. The last man he had was about six weeks ago. You could still smell the blood that seeped into all the fine little grooves of Dean's metallic table. The stench of decayed plasma hung in the air like aged copper and rust. His screams still songed loud and desperate in Dean's head, calming his Demons. Feeding him that fleeting illusion of revenge and justice.   
He had already come up with a plan for his new mark. He would follow him out to his car. Pound him across the back of his skull with a hammer. Push him in and drive back to his place for a little game of dissection. A dark smirked tugged the corners of Dean's mouth as he relished the thought. He watched the man begin to cross the street and Dean picked up his pace enough so he wouldn't lose him. Wouldn't want that now would we?   
Stepping off the curb, Dean was too focused on his goals ahead that he didn't see the oncoming BMW coming for him. The horn blared at Dean's delayed reaction time as he turned in time just to anticipate the impact of the bumper smashing his bones apart when out of nowhere a perfectly timed firm hand gripped him. Long nimble fingers wrapping around bicep just below his shoulder and digging into his flesh as it pulled him back ferociously and back up onto the curb. Dean stumbled back against a smaller but surprisingly strong chest and craned his back to look at whoever the hell it was just saved him. Stunned green eyes blinked widely back two large blue eyes. Bluer than the clear Spring sky of this particular day, a furrowed brow stared back at him with sincere concern.  
  
  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
  
The man asked tipping his head slightly to the left and Dean's heart started beating again. Forgetting all about his former prey, all his attention was now locked with razor sharp focus on this man. His large eyes, sharp nose, perfectly sculpted cheekbones. His full lips.  
How did this stranger just swoop in and save him like that? He was like an Angel.... Was he? Dean thought in his deranged mind. Was this him? The Angel his Mother spoke of?  
  
  
  
"Uh, yeah- yeah, man I'm good. Thanks for that. I owe ya one..."  
  
  
  
Dean replied after finding his words and the man slowly let up on his grip which so tight it would surly leave a mark. Dean's eyes fell over the man's features before snapping back up to his eyes when he spoke again.  
  
  
  
  
"You should be more careful... I'm very glad I was here or you could have been mortally wounded. Um..."  
  
  
  
He trailed off hoping for an offered name which Dean obliged.  
  
  
  
"Dean... Name's Dean."  
  
  
  
He gruffed out glancing around at the dissipating crowd before returning his gaze.   
  
  
  
"Castiel."  
  
  
  
  
He replied and Dean arched a brow and his heart picked up it's pace again.  
  
  
"Like the Angel?..."  
  
  
  
He questioned with restrained curiosity and Castiel sighed pleasantly and nodded.  
  
  
  
"Yes... My Father was fond of religious texts I'm afraid."  
  
  
A smile tugged the corner of Dean's mouth as he studied Castiel. Looking for a clues, surely this graceful creature couldn't be human. He had to have him. Take him apart, see what was hiding underneath.  
Castiel smiled politely and stepped back from Dean once he saw he had his bearings back.  
  
  
"My Apologies, Dean... I'm afraid I'll have to be going. I'm now late for my shift....  
I hope you'll be alright?"  
  
  
  
Dean's heart sank.  
  
  
_He's leaving..._  
  
  
  
"No- yeah I mean, I'm good, man. Thanks...For saving me."  
  
  
  
Castiel just nodded with the briefest of smiles and touched Dean's shoulder before leaving his side and crossing the street.  
Dean was consumed. He wanted more of him. He fixated on the task at hand and watched his every movement. Following him. Not too close, he didn't want him to catch on and know just what Dean was. If Castiel became frightened too soon this would all be spoiled. The Local Infirmary stood tall in the small town landscape and Dean could see Castiel glide up the steps with inhuman steady ease and grace to enter the building through the door adjacent to the wing where they kept the HRSA patience. Dean knew it well... He remembered being sent there when he was 15. That was the last time he was allowed to be home alone with Sam. When Bobby caught Dean self harming himself with his Dad's old hunting knife he thought it would be safer to separate the boys. So Dean was placed in the High Risk Of Self Abuse wing of the hospital for several weeks.  
The Winchester crossed the street and slipping inside the hospital. He  he stayed off anyone's radar for the day, watching Cas move about taking care of all the troubled patients. Learned his habits and times. He noticed how Cas seemed to like to stop at the hospital's chapel before heading out.  
  
  
  
  
A week passes, Castiel's routine became Dean's routine. Up early following him to work in his car. Watching him leave. Not many changes apart from late night stops at the 24 hour grocery on the way home after his shift ends. Dean makes note of everything. He was growing impatient.   
Dean sat in the parking lot behind the hospital waiting with inhuman patience. Every second that dragged out just felt like slow foreplay to him. His duffel sat in the backseat containing neatly rolled rope and duct tape. Knives and a gag. He kept the main thing he would need right now in his jacket pocket. His Dad's hunting knife. Chloroform and a rag so Cas would go quietly and he  wouldn't have to hurt him... Yet anyway.  
Dean looked up in time to see through the window into the chapel and saw the angel he was waiting to light a red candle and kneel in prayer. The way he submitted himself on his knees was enough to make Dean squirm in his seat wanting him to be on his knees for him. He resisted the urge to palm himself through his jeans as he caught his lip between his teeth studying all his movements. He wondered what it would feel like to hold him down. What his body would feel like when he would fight for freedom... Or maybe he would just sprout wings and fly away. Dean considered that a possibility.  
  
  
  
  
Castiel was unaware of the fate waiting for him just outside the safety of the hospital doors. He blew out the candles of the Chapel and shrugged on his coat and pushed past the doors. He slipped his hand in his coat pocket in search of his keys while taking a moment to enjoy the moist evening air that was breezing around to greet him. He was feeling peaceful,  eager to get home. That's why he was so surprised at the apprehensive sensation slowly creeping up the back of his neck. Now fear came, entering softly, sifting through the hollow places of his body and filling them up like dirty smoke. He halted halfway to his car and before he had a moment to react a strong arm hooked up over his shoulder and wrapped around his neck from behind and an abrupt yank backwards against the monster's chest. He gasped in fear and surprise when he felt something cool and sharp pressing against his throat enough to scrape at his stubble. He furrows his brow trying to look back at the offender but was held too firmly and the threat of the blade teasing over his jugular was disabling.  
"...Please-" He choked out, doing his best to keep his voice steady and controlled, but his body betrays him as he's raising his hands to clutch at the other's arm with the panicky desperation of drowning man.  
"Please...No.... Don't hurt me, _please_...."  
  
  
  
Dean was right. He knew he would enjoy the feeling of Castiel struggling against him. He turned his face into the crook of Cas's trembling neck and breathed him in. Castiel whimpered and Dean reached into the back of his jeans yanking out the rag and the offensive smell of chloroform was easily recognizable to the Cas and he panicked fully knowing where this was going and he screwed his eyes tightly shut and held his breath defiantly as Dean brought the cloth around and pressed it over his face.  
The Winchester was growing agitated with how long this was taking and he squeezed the handle of the blade and pressed it in a hair closer.  
"Hey! Don't be stupid... Stop fighting me or I swear I'll kill you right here."  
Castiel froze at the familarness in the voice, but his brain wasn't together enough at the moment to fully recall. He just shook his head in a determined no. He turned his face away from the rag as far as he could to gasp for a breath but he was hardly able to draw one in as he was starting to choke on his own sobs. Dean clenched his jaw in rage but at the same time was excited by the fight in him.  
  
  
  
"Just make it easy on yourself. Huh? Why wont you just open your fucking mouth and take it..."  
Castiel kept his face turned away from the cloth and tried to form his words through his trembling and desperation."Because...I- I wanna wake up...  
Please... I wanna wake up. Don't kill me, _please_."  
   
  
  
Dean was suddenly struck with an unfamiliar sensation. There was fear in Castiel's voice. Usually Dean enjoyed that. Usually the last sounds fleeing out of the tormented wreckage of one of his victims body's was one of the things that made his heart beat a little harder and fill him with the pleasurable exhilaration of power.  
But, not this. This felt different. He didn't want him to be afraid. Not right now. Not yet. Now he just wanted to take him home and work it out from there. The Winchester pulled Castiel's body a little to his and held up the rag closer to his mouth.  
  
  
"You're gonna wake up, alright?... Just- get it over with now and I promise you'll wake up later. Otherwise I'll kill you here... Your call."  
Castiel just stood there, vaguely aware that all his clothes were sticking to him; he was drenched with sweat. He couldn't hold his breath any longer and had no choice but to give in. His heart whispered a prayer as he inhaled a hungry breath... Darkness bloomed, spreading a wing softly over his eyes, and the world began to swing sickeningly sideways until there was nothing but thick black calm. The last calm he would feel for a long time....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**Black bird singing in the dead of night. Take these Broken Wings and learn to fly.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It takes the average human seven minutes to go to sleep, but according to Hand's Human Physiology, it takes the same average human fifteen to twenty minutes to wake up. It is as if sleep is a pool from which emerging is more difficult than entering. When the sleeper wakes, he or she comes up by degrees, from deep sleep to light sleep to what is sometimes called "waking sleep," a state in which the sleeper can hear sounds and will even respond to questions without being aware of it later... except perhaps as fragments of dream.

 

 

Castiel slowly rejoined the world around him. His cheek pressed against the firm mattress that laid on the floor of a cold dank basement, stale with the odor of sweat and blood. He shuddered, but not from the cold. It was a feeling of aloneness that made him shudder. It was strong and persuasive. There seemed no way to concretize it with a metaphor. It was faceless. He just felt by himself, untouched and untouching. It didn't take long for reality to flood back with violent clarity. He'd been abducted. He'd been taken to a second location. The man was armed and dangerous.  
He might die tonight. He immediately attempted to push himself up but the sudden jerk of chains pulled him right back down on his stomach. Metal unforgiving cuffs held his wrists and ankles firmly in place, face down on the mattress. They connected from him to the industrial looking floor grate the mattress was positioned over.   
There was a creaking over head and an ominous groan of a door and Castiel's heart sank. It felt like led in his chest as he listened to his captor descend the stairs. He turned his face into the mattress in a pitiful attempt to shield himself from whatever was coming for him.

 

 

"Well! See you're awake."  
He mused cheerfully as he reached the bottom of the stairs presenting himself proudly. Castiel needed a moment to absorb the answer the first answer to his question of, who?  
".... Dean?" He questioned incredulous as he recognized the man he had saved just a few days previous. To which Dean just smiled back self satisfied that Cas remembered his name, Cas had been thinking about him too. The thought made Dean eager. He shrugged off his worn green army jacket letting it fall carelessly to the floor as he walked closer circling the mattress like a predator anticipating it's prey's next move. Castiel wanted to curl up and way from him to protect himself but that wasn't an option.

 

 

"I...D-Dean... I don't understand.  
What have I done? I don't even know you. I helped you! I did my best. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you angry? Please...Please let me go. Untie me please."  
He begged with his Windex blue eyes rapidly blinking away warm tears spilling down his face and his captor stepped closer, reaching out to place a longing touch to the middle of Castiel's back.

 

"I'm not angry, Cas..."  
He whispered in a gentle reassurance that was surprising to even his own ears. Considering the circumstances no comfort should have been drawn from this but Castiel was so desperate for something to hold onto that he wrapped Dean's words around himself and prayed that he meant them. Castiel turned to rest his cheek on the mattress and look up at him as best he could.   
"Then why? Why are you doing this to me?..." 

 

 

Dean took a seat and the mattress sunk down beside Castiel as Dean's eyes wandered his clothed body.  
"Cause I wanted you. I know who you are and I know what you are." He stated simply and placed his hand on the other man's lower back drawing a startled gasp from him as pain bloomed through tender flesh. Castiel was suddenly aware that his white dress shirt was wet and stuck to his body. He turned his head straining his neck to try and see his back. Tears prickled in his eyes seeing his once crisp white shirt was now drenched in sickening deep red.

 

"Oh, God...What did you do... What did you do to me?!"  
He screwed his eyes shut in pain and Dean smiled pleased and caressed his back again earning another hiss of pain.

 

"I fixed you." Dean stated proudly and tugged the shirt up a little and the cool air hitting his back stung but soothing followed and he squirmed a little trying to cope. "Fixed what?...What did you do? Please... I'm bleeding. I'm frightened. I don't understand whats happening!"

 

Dean didn't care for his ungrateful tone but none the less he didn't want to make it worse so he ran a comforting hand through the back of the sobbing Angel's hair. "When I brought you here I was looking for your wings. I undressed you and didn't see anything. They took 'em, huh? You lost them? That's why you didn't come for me or my Mother? You couldn't?"

 

Castiel balled his hands into fists and pulled at the restraints in frustration. This man was rambling incoherent nonsense and not a word of it made sense. How could this happen? How could he have managed to put himself on the radar of a violent lunatic. All he wanted was to help another, and this was his punishment. He'd never felt more abandoned than he did in that moment.  
"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't know you or your Mother! I pulled you from the oncoming car and that was all, the first time I've ever met you! I don't know what you're thinking but you are wrong! Now untie me! What did you do to me?? It hurts.."

 

 

Dean's jaw clenched and trembled in anger at the denials. He stood up and pulled out his knife and Castiel's heart sank and he immediately cowered, burring his face into the mattress. 

 

"No! No! Please...Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you. Please don't hurt me anymore..." He sobbed, grief wrapping around him like a blanket of despair as he prepared himself for the pain. But Dean just lifted the shirt from his skin and slipped the blade under to rip and tear through the fabric. Ripping the shirt open exposing the blood stained flesh beneath. Intricate etchings of feathers carved into every inch of Castiel's firm skin. While unconscious Dean took it upon himself to give his fallen angel his wings back, so he had taken his hunting knife and carved out a brand new beautiful pair of wings into his flesh and muscle. Swirls of inner and primary feathers made from red inflamed skin danced over his whole back to the base of his delicate spine. Dean marveled at his bloody work and walked over to the opposite wall to remove an aged cracked mirror and held it up so Cas would be able to see his new and improved form.

 

His eyes widened at the horror written in his skin. Pieces removed to create the perfect delicate shape of wings. Tears ran down his face. Seeing it somehow made the pain worse. "How could you? Why? I helped you... I did not hurt you. Why are you hurting me?"  
Dean just stood there, his fingers curling around the mirror's frame in frustrated fury.

 

 

"I fixed you! I saw you, what you really were. I took you back here and I fixed you, you ungrateful son of a bitch! I shouldn't have. I didn't owe you a damn thing! Not after what you did! You let her die!  
But you saved me. Why? You saved me twice. What makes my life more important than hers??"  
Dean demanded, his voice strangled with more emotion than he's expressed in years. And Castiel, yes he was terribly afraid, but at the same time he looked on Dean with unmistakable compassion in that moment.  
"Dean... I'm terribly sorry about whatever happened to your mother but I am not who you think I am... Please, untie me and we can talk about it. I fear I'm bleeding out too much. I don't wanna die, Dean. Please don't let me. You're a good man. I believe you are... Please.."  
Remembering how he cared for his patience at the hospital he made an effort to speak to Dean with remarkable calm, trying to reason with an unreasonable man was rather difficult, and dangerous. But Castiel had little other options. 

 

 

 

"Can't untie you." Dean replied quick and dismissive as he placed the mirror aside on his stained work bench.   
"You're staying here with me. You'll like it. I promise."  
Walking up close he slipped his hand up onto the back of Castiel's neck and squeezed affectionately despite Cas shying away from the touch. 

 

"I just want answers...Why her? Why did it happen? Why didn't you help her? I thought angel's were suppose to help people. Is it cause you lost your wings?"

 

This was all becoming very tiresome and the pain tearing through his back was doing nothing to help that. Castiel glared at Dean stubbornly and shrugged his hand off.  
"I have no wings. I never have. I'm not an--angel, I'm just a man. You're delusional. You suffered a trauma and you've manufactured a fantasy just to cope with it. I'm sorry, Dean but that's the truth. You're sick and you need help desperately."

 

Castiel gave coldly and Dean's only reaction was anger, maybe he was wrong. Castiel wasn't an angel, he wasn't special. He didn't care about him. He was just another person, another person he thought of him as a freak, a lunatic, he talked just like the rest of _them_. Every single God damn one. Unable to keep the disgust off his face he hauled off and punched him. Castiel cried out from the blow, unable to defend himself from the assault with his hands bound he just tried to turn away from another expected impact. But Dean just stood there fighting to compose himself. His victim cried and bled just like every other person unlucky to spend a night in his basement. There was nothing special here.... And yet, somehow he wasn't ready to just get rid of him like yesterday's trash. He wasn't ready to let him go. This may not be what he thought but Dean was still going to take something for himself. Picking up his blade again, the smooth handle relaxing in his grip, he stepped close looking over Castiel's helpless trembling form.  
Castiel screwed up. He knew that. He should have allowed Dean to believe whatever he wanted, anything that would encourage him to keep him alive at least. Once he saw Dean claiming the knife his panic kicked in and he yanked at his bindings.

 

"Please, no! Not that... No, don't- I- Dean, please... Anything. I'll do anything...Please don't--"

 

 

"Shh-shhh-shhhh.... "

 

Dean whispered as he began cutting away the damp material of his homemade angel's shirt. Peeling it from his skin before it dried and discarding it to the floor before resting his hand over the blazing heat of his back. Castiel attempted to escape the touch but he was trapped between Dean's hands and the mattress.

 

"It hurts!" He choked out closing his eyes. "It hurts when you touch it, Dean...Please." 

 

Castiel's pleas were getting under his skin. Another new thing for him. This never really bothered him before. He made his way over to the sink that was beside his dingy work bench and picked up a cloth that was draped over the side and began dampening it with a thin cool stream of water. It swirled down the drain tinted pink from his prisoner's blood on his hand. Wringing the rag out he slowly walked back beside the mattress and shook the rag straight before laying it over the deepest area of cuts. The cold water stung at first than calmed the angry heat radiating off of him and he sighed a slow shaky breath as he coped with it. Before he could draw much comfort from that he felt the dis-concerning sensation of Dean's callused hands reaching around his waist, working his deft fingers in to undo his belt...Oh, no. This...Can't be.

 

 

"........What are you doing?"

 

Dean's eyes scanted up towards him, not giving much of a reply as he tugged the zipper down then worked his long fingers into the waist band of the black slack as he tugged then down to his knees so he could admire his body. His firm tanned legs that looked delicate despite the muscles. He just had to get those boxers off so he could see the rest of what Castiel had to offer.  
Castiel's entire body tightened mortified as he felt the cool air of the basement make contact with his exposed flesh as his boxers were cut from his body with slow precision. He was no fool. He knew where this might be going and his fear of the pain he was to experience was enough to stop his heart altogether.

 

 

"No. Don't, please don't do that to me, Dean. I- I can't I just can't. Don't make me. Please don't make me."  
He implored him, but Dean was already sliding his hand up between his legs to cup his heat, earning a low gasp from the other.  
"Why? You're sore right? This'll take your mind off it for a while."  
Castiel shook his head defiantly.  
"Haven't you hurt me enough today? No more...Please, no more."

 

 

Dean really had no desire at this point to hurt him, he just needed to relieve some stress and well, Cas was here so.

 

"I'm not- uh, not gonna hurt you."

 

If Castiel could have jumped out of his own skin he would have if it meant getting away.  
"What you want to do to me _will_ hurt me, Dean... Even if you aren't trying it will hurt. Please don't."  
His captor was merciful enough to go easy on him and he rested a reassuring hand on the back of his neck, his index finger mapping gentle motions behind his ear.

 

"If you're good and don't fight me it wont hurt. Just accept me and let me inside you and it wont hurt too bad. I promise. I know what I'm doing. This is happening though, Cas. Up to you weather it's good or bad.  
Understand?"

 

There was no answer for this. He wept, but eventually Castiel's tears would stop. It was a necessary first step on the way to making an uneasy peace with a truth that wasn't going to go away. He had lost all control over what happened to him and his body tonight. Acceptance was all he had.

 

"I understand, Dean..."  
Not that Dean required the others acceptance, but hearing it somehow made this a little better for him.  
"Good boy." He whispered praise while he cupped the other's sack, massaging slowly. Rolling each testicle in his palm while his thumb traced the rim of muscles that were clenching so desperately to keep him out.

 

"Calm down...You gotta calm down or this will hurt like a bitch."  
He warned and palmed at him a little harder, causing Castiel's full lips to part in a slow unsure exhale.

 

"I'm afraid." Was his only excuse and Dean responded by rubbing his thumb over his trembling hole.

 

"Don't be." He offered. "Just do everything I tell you and you'll be good."

 

With that he removed his hand and went to the task of undoing the cuffs around Cas's ankles. They were a little bruised and cold. Dean traces the line of the bruise before patting the back of his thigh.

 

"Draw your knees up to your chest. I want your ass up in the air and your chest to stay down flat to the bed. Got it?"

 

He gingerly did as he was told, flush with humiliation as he pulled his knees up, presenting himself to this stranger. So badly he wanted to hide away from Dean's intimate gaze as he scoped out the display in front of him.  
Dean's breath almost caught at how fucking perfect he was. He could barely control himself as his body just screamed at him to bury himself in the perfection that was before him.  
But somehow the obvious fear in the face and body of his victim didn't hold the same appeal as it always had. He trailed a finger down the base of his spine, down through the crease of his ass and teased over where he wanted to be.

"You don't even know... You don't have a clue how fucking good this is gonna be. You're gonna be beggin' me for more, Angel...You just wait. You're gonna be so hungry for my cock inside you that you're gonna be embarrassed over the fuss you're throwin' right now."  
He rambled in awe as he started running his hands over the two perfect globes of his ass. Squeezing and groping roughly against his soft skin, pulling him apart.

 

Castiel braced himself, waiting. Waiting for whatever came next. A surprised gasp escaped him when he felt something slick, soft and firm against his hole. He peeked over his shoulder to catch the sight of Dean's head ducking down as his tongue lathed over his entrance. He tried to pull from him bit Dean's hands clasped his hip and he held him firm.

 

"Oh, please..."

"Shhh" Dean murmured against him and then he flicked his tongue against him, pushing in further with each pass. Breathing in the scent that made his own cock ache for release.

   
Castiel's chest tightened and heat spread through his body. Was this feeling...Good? No. No. It can't. He was being violated by a mad man. No pleasure should be gained from such an experience.  
His thought were quickly derailed though, the soft probing appendage was now being replaced with a slick fingertip threatening to press inside. Trying to squirm away did little but annoy his captor who just held his hips with purpose and he forced it inside up to the second knuckle and Castiel's body jerked at the feeling of such a private touch. He just dropped his head down arching his back into the feeling as Dean's fingers pushed in and out of his fluttering muscles. Pausing only to add a second. When he felt that, the walls inside him fluttered around the intrusion. Dean did not pause when he first met resistance. He just pushed through making Cas hiss at the sudden burning openness of his body.

"Hurts...Please, Dean it hurts. Stop"

His captor just continued to scissor his fingers, prying him open.

"It'll get better..."

He assured him while his fingers twisted and crooked up seeking the small bundle of nerves inside him, causing a shock of pleasure mixing with the pain, such a profound vulnerable sensation that Castiel collapsed down onto his elbow and buried his face in his arms. Trying so hard not to rock into it and feel a little more.

"Oh yeah, Cas...You're ready."

Dean admired, voice thick with arousal as he withdrew his fingers. And Castiel knew what that meant. His heart jumped into his throat and he just bowed his head in acceptance.

"I want you on your back. Roll over and spread your legs for me."

Cas dared a look over his shoulder at Dean and tried to compose his voice so it was void of the shaking fear he was feeling now.

"May I-- Please, can I just stay like this. My back."

He whispered, referencing the pain from the deep knife wounds carved into his skin.

"It wasn't a request, Cas. It was an order. Now do it, unless you want me to take my knife out again."

He was just going to have to bite his tongue and cooperate. The most important thing to focus on now was survival. He had to survive.  
His fingers twitched nervously before _very_ carefully as he sat back on his heels and very gingerly turned to face Dean. He was so frightened he could hardly breath. His eyes stayed low to stare at his lap until Dean's hand reached out to clasp his chin and forced his face up to stare in his eyes, asserting that Castiel was to do everything he was told. It was a wordless exchange and Cas just nodded solemnly and Dean smirked in approval. 

"Lie back and spread your legs nice and wide for me."

The flush in Cas's cheeks was pure fire. He almost would have preferred to be manhandled into that position by force. Somehow perhaps it would be less humiliating.  
But he had no choice other than to give in. Laying back, covering his mouth to muffle the cry of pain as his torn open back made contact with the mattress. He kept his knees together as he took a moment for himself to try and compose.  
A moment too long for Dean.  
Two hands came up to rest on his knees.

"I said, open your legs, Cas. Not gonna ask you again. "

With a slow exhale he nodded. Submitting his body to Dean he spread his legs wide, exposing his shamefully throbbing erection and his treated hole.

"That's a good boy...Now stay still."

 

Dean's firm hands took hold of Castiel's hips, his fingers sinking into soft supple flesh. Lifting him up to drag him down the mattress closer. Castiel  
winced at the drag of material against his wounds but was far more focused on what was about to happen between his legs as he felt the skin of Dean's waist gliding  
along his thighs as Dean manipulated his limb's to wrap around him.

Soft breath dragged through parted lips as Dean's throbbing erection pressed against his own. Feather soft tingles of new pleasure fluttered in his gut and  
his eyes fell closed to savor it.  
This was new. And it shouldn't feel good. He was being held against his will. Tortured. Raped...That's what this was, right?

 

"Ah.."

 

A surprised whimper as Dean's hips rolled against him. His captor's hand closed around their two erections, alining them. The pad of Dean's thumb brushed over their  
tips, gathering generous amounts of their early arousal and pumps down slicking pre-come down their shafts in smooth slippery warm motions that made Castiel's insides  
quiver. He curled his fingers into the bedding at his sides. Not sure what the right thing to do with his hands was.  
Dean seemed to read his mind as he leaned in closer to brush his lips over his neck. Just under the sensitive area under his ear.

 

"You can touch me, angel..."

 

Dean gave through a low husk and gingerly Cas brought hands up to rest on Dean's sides. Cautious and slow as if he was attempting to touch a dangerous animal.

Their cocks slid against each other perfectly as the waves of Dean's hips continued to working him slowly into light headed submission under him.  
It felt so good the tension in his body started to drain from him. Dean knew it too. And thats when his hand took the opportunity and slipped down between Castiel's  
Thighs and dragged down his ass.

Immediately tensing, closing himself off; he couldn't help his body's inital reaction to squirm away and Dean's hand released their cocks to hook his arm  
around Cas to keep him from pulling away.  
His captor's eyes burned acid green into peaceful frightened blues. Daring him to move.

"I'm sorry..." voice low and regretful. He slid himself closer and spread his legs further apart to avoid punishment. "Dean, please... I'm sorry."

Castiel really was a good boy, Dean mused to himself. Well behaved. Not fighting him. Sure there were a few slip ups so far but nothing they couldn't get past.  
Dean really did want to keep him. He hoped Castiel wouldn't do anything to screw that up. Finding out he wasn't really an angel was a big enough let down.  
But Dean was going to try and be a little easier on him. This might be more enjoyable for him with less kicking and screaming than usual. Maybe if it was  
good enough Cas would want to be there with him. Then Dean wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Just thinking of such a promise made the roll of his hips more insistent  
as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together forgiving. Cas's hands went back to grab at Dean's sides. The gentle press of lips lulled the fear from  
him of immediate punishment. Dean's brazen tongue began coaxing his lips apart and Cas gave in, allowing the soft rush of his tongue to sweep through his mouth  
Distracting him from Dean's persistent finger that was teasing the rim of his opening.  
Dean went on to gather more come oozing down from both of their cocks and he coats his fingers in a mixture of the two of them before finally dipping his middle finger inside  
of him.  
Castiel broke the kiss to pull his head back a bit and try to gather himself as he felt the strange sensation of the finger pressing deep inside him. Once past  
the second knuckle his whole body clenched around and Dean hushed another kiss. He eased in and out to get the muscles to flutter and flex. When he felt the flurry  
of pressure ease up around his finger, Dean promptly added a second and Castiel was struggling to keep still. There was a burn now he was starting to feel.  
A lot of it was nerves but he couldn't help it as the fingers spread him open he gasped. Dean's thumb circled around his stretching hole to sooth over the stretch  
and the burn as he spread his fingers to scissor him open. Castiel's nails began to curl into the sides of his captor and his head dropped down. Pressing his  
forehead into Dean's shoulder. Trying to cope and instinctively seeking comfort. Even if this was the man who carved him up earlier.

 

"Please stop...Please."

His body felt stretched open and exposed. That scared him. Dean ignored his plea just to press their lips together again and try a different route.  
He crooked his fingers up and pressed up into the little bundle of nerves hidden away inside him and Castiel's entire body convulsed. His cock spilling out drips  
of come at the sharp electric heat of pleasure that shot through his body. Making his thighs tremble.

"Oh, God...Dean...Dean please don't..."

Don't do anymore or don't stop? He didn't even know what he was begging for. But his body seemed to as his hips raised  
to get a little more. In turn, Dean just thrusted his fingers inside him. Jabbing his prostate perfectly with each pass and sweat started pouring down  
his angel's body as his skin flushed.  
Dean was so ready. He had to feel the tight little body trembling and begging around him before he demolished him and broke him apart. He needed it now.

"Gonna fuck you now, angel."

Before the warning could register, the head of Dean's cock was already persisting outside his tight ring of muscle. Forcing itself inside.

He froze. Trying so hard to be good and not move. It felt so strange. Not as painful as he expected but Dean was big enough that it wasn't an easy pass.  
His ass stretched and took hold of him as Dean's cock breached his body and began to sink deeper inside him.  
Tears prickled in his eyes and Dean was generous enough to wrap an arm around him.

 

"I know...You're doin' good.... Fuck, Cas...You feel so fucking good. Huh? Yeah...Yeah you're a good boy. Gonna be good for me. Lay out and take me inside you. Let me use your ass? Gonna do that for me?"

Dean rambled, half crazed with pleasure as he rocked his hips nice and slow, rutting inside that nice tight hold of pure heat.  
Castiel whimpered and mewled under him. Raising his hips so Dean's cock could brush that special place inside him again. To make himself feel better.

 

"I'll-- I'll be good for you, Dean. Just...Please, not too rough."

He pleaded and Dean was merciful. Slow strokes of his cock inside him. Waiting until Cas was worked up enough before he started brutalizing his ass. He grabbed hold of his angel's erection, that jumped and bobbed with every rock into his prostate. Squeezing and milking extra pre-come, he slicked him again and started pumping himself inside him. Harder until finally he thrusted in deep with a buck of his hips.  
Jerking Castiel's body and Cas cried out scrambling for purchase somewhere on Dean's back and shoulders as Dean wound himself up  
and let it all go. Fucking into him deep and quick. Splitting him open and taking him apart. Cas dropped back on the bed. Adrenaline preventing him from even feeling the impact  
against his his wounds as Dean was jack hammering his cock inside his body.  
Every nerve stood on end and his chest arched up into him as broken sobs slipped past his lips. Raw and unaware. Lost and having nothing and nowhere to seek  
solitude, except for in Dean.

"Feel good, angel? Didn't I tell you? Tell me how good it feels."

Dean demanded between pleasured grunts.

Castiel just nodded fervently. Unable to answer properly because every blow inside him was punching the air from his lungs. Leaving nothing behind but desperate  
gasps and the sounds of their bodies slapping together, reverberating off the basement walls.  
Dean clutched at his hips, holding him in place from budging away from his cock's assault. The perfect imprint of wings dipped in blood that had seeped into the mattress  
was now being reshaped into something new.The smears gave it the appearance of a struggling bird who tried to flutter itself away free.

 

Castiel's insides flexed around Dean's cock and he started to feel a certain pull in his body. Dean's thrusting consistent and strong enough that his body could catch it and ride out the high  
his muscles in his stomach clenched and his cock swelled. His orgasm tore through him, ripping a scream from his lungs as Dean's cock slammed his prostate just right one last time.  
He came in strong thick white streams, painting Dean's chest and spilling out over his stomach. Leaving him boneless and gasping for air.

 

Dean's chest heaves as he catches his breath, staring down at Castiel, allowing himself to soften inside him.

 

"Ya good?.."

 

He questioned through a low husk and in return Castiel marveled at the absurdity of such a question. But, he supposed he was. At least for the moment.  
A timid nod.

 

"I'm- I'm okay..."

 

His rasp was strained and low. The orgasm had stolen his voice from him at the moment more so he was struck by how unbelievably exhausted he was despite the tremors still running through his body.

 

Of course though, now came the inevitable question, now that he served his purpose. What would become of him? The reassuring weight of the body curled over him did not take away from the reality of the situation.  
it was all right to hope and noble to strive, but in the end it was doom alone which would count.

 

He lays a pair of shaken hands over Dean's shoulders and stares up at him.

 

"Now what? Dean...What are you going to do?"

 

His captor offers another surprising display of genteelness by running callused fingers through his hair. 

 

"Let ya sleep I guess. I've got some stuff to take care of. Stuff to make your stay here more comfortable."

 

Castiel's stomach balls into nerves of trepidation.

 

"You can't just keep me here forever..."

 

Dean leaned down, his fingers curling under his chin, tipping his head back to look at him.

 

"You're an angel...All we got is forever. Now get some rest...I'm gonna work on your wings some more when you wake up..."

 

His hand brushed down Castiel's hot wet cheek as he eased himself out of him.  
Taking his time to maneuver his limbs so he could bring the cuffs around his wrists and ankles once again,  
Then promptly dresses himself.  
He draped a blanket over his new angel's body and left without much of a word. Disappearing up the basement stairs.

 

Once Dean was out of sight, Castiel allowed everything to hit him. He wanted to draw his knees up and rolled on his side but was unable. He just turned his face sideways into the mattress, sobbing into it.  
He was trapped with nothing to look forward to except more of this.  
He did his best to draw in steadier breaths. He couldn't afford to fall apart. Whatever happens. There was no other option but to survive.  
He closed his eyes in a silent prayer. A sign that someone was with him to help him.  
Of course. There was no sign. No whispers in the dark. Just him. And that would be enough. Sometimes your best is everything you have.  
And he would do whatever he must.

 

Allowing that thought to calm his heart. He repeated it to himself like a lullaby until. Until he could believe and find enough strength in it to fall asleep tonight....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three 

 

 

 **Death and danger do not have to come with trappings.**  
**They can come to you in the sweet breath of your beloved  
**

 

 

Castiel choked himself awake. Inhaling dust particles and insulation that were being stirred up in the darkness around him by a shuffling pair of boots. 

Coughing as he lifted his gaze to peer up at the man above. The night prior came flooding back and Castiel's large eyes reflected a touch of despair that his unfortunate situation wasn't simply a dream as he had hoped.

"Hiya, Cas...."  His captor smiled cocking his head to the side; looking his angel over and he leaned down placing what appeared to be two gallon jugs on the basement floor. Filled with an unidentifiable dark liquid. 

Castiel squinted in the dark examining it. Hoping it wasn't what his instincts were telling him it was.

 

".....Hello...Dean."

 

Castiel offered wearily. His pain was tapping him on the shoulder to remind him it was there. Wincing in discomfort but he stilled his tongue and just went back to looking at the ominous containers.

 

"Dean...What is that?"

 

"What does it look like?"

He replied with a grin as he removed a hunting knife from his pocket, freshly stained in crimson. He took the hem of his shirt to wipe away the blood from the glinting steel blade.

 

Castiel turned his face away in anguish and disgust over the sheer carnage of all of this.

 

"Who's blood is it?..." He inquired in a shaken breath.

Dean pursed his lips and shrugged as he switched on the basement light. Flickering slightly due to a bad wire somewhere.

"Does it matter? You're gonna need it, so I got some.  
Some bar dick and some guy walkin' to his car. We didn't exchange phone numbers or nothin' beforehand...So I can't tell ya who they were exactly."

 

_Two innocents have lost their lives because of me...._

__

 

__

 

__

Was all he could think to himself at first. Before more pressing thoughts came into focus...

 

_You're gonna need it._

__

 

__

 

__

He looked up to Dean, who's stare was lingering over him in a way that if Cas wasn't mistaken,  seemed to mirror affection...Which somewhat shifted to regret as Dean looked into Cas's face and the fear that was etching into his already prominent brow.  

 

"Relax...We'll do it tomorrow when you've healed up some more. I got a lot of blood, but not enough if you end up bleeding out altogether. "

 

Castiel just nodded. At least there would be no pain tonight. He was grateful for that.

Dean knelt at his side, studying the dried blood crusting over his angel in progress's shoulders. He needed to clean him up he guessed. Never once had he brought someone back here with the intentions of keeping the alive so, this was a little new to him.

 

"You're probably hungry...Yeah?"

 

Castiel of course was very hungry. Having nothing apart from a small lunch at work before he was taken. But he had not considered even saying anything. This man had kidnapped, tortured and raped him. He assumed he would hold little regard for his persistently noisy stomach.

 

"Y-yes...But thats alright. You don't have to trouble yourself. I'm fine."

 

Dean waved him off and walked over to his work bench where he had placed a bag of takeout right before Castiel had woken up before.

"No big deal. Grabbed it on the way home..."

He tapped a wrapped straw on the thigh of his jeans to puncture through the paper and remove it. 

He then poked the straw into the lid of the ice tea he picked up with the meal. Then proceeded to kneel beside him.

 

"Here...Open your mouth."

 

Dean ordered while slipped his hand behind his captives head.  Castiel momentarily flinching at the touch but catches himself quick enough and allows Dean to put the straw to his dry lips. His eyes closed as cool liquid graced his mouth and throat which had been rendered dry from the dry heaves of tears since the start of his abduction. He looked up to Dean, cautious but appreciative as he slowly pulled back from the straw.

 

"Thank you...Dean." 

 

Dean didn't reply. Instead just staring down at his prisoner. The soft shade of blue in his eyes somehow quelling the loud static that roared inside his troubled mind. His thoughts were wandering instead towards all the things he wanted to do with him. How he would enjoy him. Imagining what he would look like with his fresh new pair of wings while Dean was fucking him into the mattress. The soft cries he could pull from him. The wings will have to be carved deeper. Right now they were mere flesh wounds. Dean was already worried they were starting to heal. He was going to have to go deeper next time. He would have to carve out and remove muscle. Like peeling away slices of onion. He was going to carve him into a higher form of life. Transform him anew. And maybe after that he could let him ascend..And maybe his new angel would show mercy and take Dean with him. 

 

Castiel had worked in the hospital long enough to know when one of the patients were losing themselves and disassociating from reality. The lost far away look, the way his eyes began to dilate. He knew he had to handle him carefully. Lowering his tone as if Dean was a frightening animal he didn't want to agitate further.

 

"Dean, listen to me...Can you look at me?"

 

How he wished his hands weren't bound so he could touch him and ground him in the moment

 

" _Dean...."_ More assertive now.

 

 

"Dean where are we?

 

 

His captors eyes regained a little bit of focus in their gaze down at him. Castiel offered a smile in return.

 

 

"There you are... Listen to me. Your name is Dean. We are in Lebanon Kansas. It's..."

 

 

He trailed off to steal a peek at Dean's watch.

 

 

"It's eight thirty PM and you are here....And I am here. I see you and we are both here together. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

Dean's troubled mind eventually did find it's way back into the room. Yeah...He was here. They were both here. Cas could see him. He felt a sense of being found and it grounded him in the moment.

 

"I- I understand. Sorry. Tired I guess. Here. Finish your food."

Dean began unwrapping the paper containing the burger and Castiel sighed settling into the mattress, turning his wrists in the restraints.

 

"Dean?..."

 

Callused fingers paused in their endeavor and he cast an expectant gaze towards his captive.

 

"What is it, Cas?"

 

"Could..I mean, would it be alright...Dean, could I do it myself, please? "

 

Instead of being met with anger he got a slight amused twitch to the corner of Dean's mouth.

 

"What? Eat?...Not sure how you're gonna pull that off. You're a little tied up right now."

 

Castiel's eyes narrowed. Not just a psychotic. A rude psychotic as well.

 

"I know that, Dean...I'm asking if you could untie me? Please? Just for a little while. I'll behave and you can stay here watching me. I promise not to do anything. It's just...Very uncomfortable and sore and I was just wondering...Dean, please..."

 

Dean regarded him quietly. He'd never untied a prisoner before. It wasn't as if he  couldn't overpower then easy enough but he just preferred them still for whenever he decided to do what he pleased with them. 

But, Castiel as of right now was not one he was planning on chopping up and disposing of. He appreciated him and the company and pleasure his presence brought to Dean's lonely world. It would be nice if he didn't hate being there with him. 

And is he stepped out of line Dean was sure he could punish him severely enough that he would learn not to try it twice. 

Weighing the options Dean  nodded and placed the burger aside on his work bench. He reached inside his jacket to remove his switchblade, But instead of bringing it to the ropes he brought it up to Castiel's face. Pressing the blade just under his eye.

 

All the blood in Cas's veins turned icy cold and he whimpered closing his eyes with a whimper. 

"No....Please."

Dean's demeanor though remained composed and steady.

__

__

  
_"Shh...._ Cas. Open your eyes. Look at me."

 

Reluctantly Castiel swallowed his fear and his startled eyes opened to stare uncertain into Deans.

 

"I will undo the cuffs for you. But...If you do anything to make me regret that I will have to teach you a lesson. Now, I don't wanna do that so don't make me have to. You just lay still and be good for me and when I want you to move I'll tell you.

Got it?" 

 

Castiel was about to nod his affirmation but the tip of the blade of have easily pierced the delicate skin under his eyes so he just drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes submissively.

"Yes, sir....I understand."

With that Dean removed the knife from his face, placing it close beside him where he could easily grab it again, before taking hold of the cuffs and unlocking them. Cas instinctively started

to bring his arms down and rub away the burns on his wrists, but he didn't' want to screw this up before he started. So he kept his arms pinned up over his head, keeping his eyes trained on Dean waiting for permission. Dean moved down lower to remove the heavy cuffs from his ankles. Taking a moment to touch his fingertips over the chafed bruises.

"You can sit up now. "

 

Castiel's limbs curled up towards himself and his body groaned in protest as he struggled to sit up. 

Dean's hand surprisingly came around to the small of his back to help him back up to vertical. Their eyes met for a moment. a lingering gaze that seemed to hold a sense of ownership that wasn't entirely one sided.

 

"....Thank you. "

 

Cas whispered and Dean's thumb brushed over his back, just under where the scarring began.

 

"Just be good. "

 

Was all Dean had to offer as he placed the burger gently into his trembling hands.

 

The food was still warm, good. something he would have gotten for himself. It was a small sensation of normalcy that felt so strange in a place like this. But it did comfort him somehow. 

Dean sat across from him. Content enough to study him. Monitoring each movement. 

Cas did not care to be studied in this manner without at least a few words exchanged.

 

"How long have you lived here?"

 

Absurd and random but it was all he could think of right now. 

Dean's brows raised, surprised and questioning.

 

"Why?"

 

Cas swallowed stiffly and cleared his throat, looking off. Careful.

 

"We've been through much in the short amount of time since we've known each other. I would just like to know you better. If you'd rather not discuss it then thats fine. I wont ask anymore questions."

 

Dean shifted in position to move a little closer.

 

"Long time... Since I got out of the hospital."

 

Castiel places his meal aside to study Dean. His whole body was tense with vulnerability and he knew it was possibly a bad idea to pick Dean's brain but the more he knew the better he could navigate these treacherous waters and hopefully survive.

 

The hours passed between them as if there was no lingering threat over ether of their heads. Dean spoke of his past as if this was confession and every word was wiping him clean. 

Cas learned of Dean's crimes. The horrible things he'd done. But he also learned of the things that were done to him. We were all once frightened children and he was well aware that thats what he was in the presence of right now.  He learned about what happened to Dean in the hospital. About certain men whos' job it was to see to his well being had taken that position of power and abused it. 

He learned about Dean being put away and taken from his younger brother. 

Then they moved back further to the beginnings of it. Once Cas began to touch on the subject of Dean's mother, his behavior grew increasingly agitated and Castiel was growing perhaps foolishly brave. The anger over what had been done to him by this man was taking a back seat to the songs of grief his heart was singing for the child that no one helped when he so desperately needed it.

 

"Tell me what happened to her, Dean. It's alright."

 

His captors mind whirling. His pulse thrummed in his throat and sweat prickled down over his forehead. The screams were there again. That smell....  
Dean's shoulders hunched and shuttered as his gag reflex was involuntarily triggered by the sense memory. His panic rendered him shaken as he began to rise to his feet. But Castiel reached out to grab him. Taking his wrists and squeezing them. Urging Dean to stay. To focus.

 

"Dean. You are safe. It's alright. Talk to me..."

 

Dean's lips parted to answer him breathlessly but he stilled staring past Cas. His features taking on a horrified pale look of a child remembering an occurring nightmare.

An orange flicker licked at the shadows in in the corner of the basement a roar followed the sound and pounded in his ears. 

His eyes trailed up the ashen nightgown that dragged across the damp floor. 

Following her silhouette until he could fully see the tragedy wearing his mothers face. 

She smiled at him lovingly in the dark, then slowly brought up her finger to her lips to hush him. These were secret things. Things we don't tell others who weren't there. Who don't understand. 

The smell of smoke burned his lungs and he watched the flames suddenly rush his mothers body, swallowing her whole. She screamed as the flames stole her face leaving behind nothing but a skull grinning back at.

A choked sob shook his body when A pair of hands grabbed his face and intense blue eye found Dean's. Pulling him out of the fire. Saving him. 

Dean's hands came up to clutch at his shoulders and and stared into his face like every answer written in the fabric of time was there waiting for him.

 

"Are you him? You finally came for me?"

 

Castiel's heart sank and his hand automatically came up to card through Dean's damp hair.

 

"No, Dean... I'm not an angel."

 

His captors eyes dilated when reality came back into focus Dean's hands came up to clutch defensively at Castiel's biceps.

You're losing it. He's tryin' to get to you. Tryin' to make you weak so he can get away. He's not an angel. He's just a guy trying to get away. Can't let him. Wont let him. Not gonna be alone again..

Dean quickly got to his feet and began forcing Castiel down onto his back. Wanting to secure him back down to the mattress. Trying to regain control of a situation that he felt was quickly slipping through his fingers.

Castiel tensed and instinctively resisted him. Pressing the flat of his palms against Deans shoulders in a panic. He was so close to...Something. Anything was better than being chained up like an animal again.

"What are you doing? No...Dean! Wait...Just wait! You don't have to! You don't! I didn't mean--"

Ignoring him, Dean took hold of his fighting hands and pinned them over his head to snap the cuffs around again.  
Castiel arched his back up away from the harsh drag of the mattress as a strangled cry escaped his throat in his struggle.

Dean's rough manhandling of him eased up a bit as he latched the last cuff. He then snaked his arm down around to the small of his back, holding him up suspended from the painful contact.

"Shh-shhh...Okay, it's alright. Stop..."

Dean's words are a cold comfort considering he was trapped at square one again. But  he did calm himself in Dean's hands. He savored the rare touch of Dean trying to prevent pain as opposed to inflicting it.

"I am...I'm calm. I'm sorry for upsetting you...Was not my intention."

Dean's eyes were cold and clinical at he began to softly ease him down to the mattress.

"What was your intention then, Cas?"

He gave in a contemptuous tone.  
Castiel's spine relaxed against the bedding and he stared up at Dean, his voice strained from the discomfort in his shoulders from the bindings, along with the slowly subsiding twinges of pain in the carved skin of his back.  
His intentions were to make a connection. To make Dean see him a person.  A living soul and potential friend. Instead of an object or a misplaced hallucination. But at the same time he found himself surprised at how willing he was to listen to his story and shoulder some of his burden. He didn't know why. At odds with himself and conflicting emotions he doesn't have the ability to work out at the moment.

"....To know you."

Stating flatly, hoping that was the correct answer that would not earn him any form of punishment from his captor.

An amused twitch at the corner of Dean's mouth reassured him that it was perhaps the correct answer.  
Dean reached into the crinkled paper bag to take out a few french fries that came with the burger. They were cool now but till fine enough to still be enjoyable. He stole one for himself and the other hovered as an offering over Cas's lips.  
Castiel pressed his mouth into a thin line. Finding it distasteful to be fed but Dean tapped the fry over his lower lip urging him to open up, which he wasn't stupid enough to defy so he complained. Parting his lips accepting the offered fry and chews it quietly.

"You already know me..."

Dean finally decides to respond.

"You're behind the curtain, Cas...You know me. "

Kneels back down beside the mattress and trails his fingertips along Castiel's side, skirting over the begins of his wounds-

"Intimately..." Breathes out low, husk.

"Everyone gets my mask. You got me. I ain't hiding what I am with you."

Castiel's eyes search over Dean's face. His dark brows pulled together, his head slightly tipping to the side in effort to contemplate Dean. Castiel in the short time they've known each other had a way of looking at Dean as if he was a puzzle he was on the verge of figuring out...Dean found that unnerving.

"No...."

Was Castiel's only reply. Calm and certain. Causing Dean to arch a confused brow.

"No, what?"

"No...There's still a mask.  You are hiding, Dean. This. What you do. Have done...It's not you. This is not the entirety of you."

Dean didn't care for...This. Whatever the hell it was he was trying to pull now. He was deciding Cas was ether a crafty son of a bitch or plain stupid.  
Dean knew what he was. The way he functioned. He's lived with himself long enough to know. He decided to remove himself from the situation because Castiel was dancing over his temper and Dean wanted to avoid a reason to hurt him.

I really don't want to hurt him anymore...Huh. Seems weird. Can't remember thinkin' that before...

He backed off from him and started gathering things to leave.

"Dean...Don't leave. Please. We can- "

"Trust me, Cas..." He cuts off.  
"It's in your best interest if I leave now. You're startin' to piss me off. So, if you wanna keep all your parts, you better let me shag ass outta here a while."

Castiel's skin prickled and his chest tightened at the threat. He couldn't let himself forget what he was dealing with. So he just nodded softly and lowered his gaze. He really had to use the facilities. He probably should have requested it when Dean was in a better mood but he certainly wasn't going to ask for small favors now. He could hold it until... Well, he could hold it for as long as he could.

"I understand... My apologies. I don't have the best people skills, Dean. "

"Yeah....  
Dean replied as he climbed the stairs, pausing to hover his hand over the light switch.

"Me nether..."

The light clicks off, washing the basement in black once again. The dark was becoming a less fearful thing to him now. He was finding it brought quiet and peace with it. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off to that place between sleep and awake. A comfortable limbo until Dean returns.

 

 

 

Chapter four

 

 ****

 ****

**Into your darkest corner, you are safe in my love, you are protected. I am the openness you seek, I am your doorway. Come sit in the circular temple of my heart, and let yourself be calm.**

 

 

 

 

 

Castiel was woken by the hot stab of what felt like a hot ice pick in his bladder. Holding it too long he searched about the dark room to see if maybe Dean had returned. No such luck. He was uncertain weather or not to call out to him. Perhaps that would anger him. Maybe it was a line not to cross. Asking for  favors and things of that nature, but in his discomfort he risked raising his voice through the dark heavy air.

 

"Dean?...A moment of your time, please?....Dean!"

Immediately pinning his lips together when he heard the overhead creak of Dean climbing off the couch and shuffling down towards the basement stairs. Castiel grew a bit nervous as the door cracked open and Dean began climbing down towards him.

 

"What the fuck, Cas? The basement had better be on fire."

 

".....My apologies, Dean. I was wondering if-- well, if I could-- Would you mind if....."

 

"Sometime this century would be great, Cas."

 

"...May I use your facilities, please?"

 

His captor pursed his lips and smirked momentarily at the phrasing.

 

"You gotta take a piss?"

 

Castiel grits his teeth slightly but relents with a nod.

 

"I suppose...Yes. "

 

Dean offered a careless shrug and wandered about the room, tracing his finger along the grout outlining the worn grey bricks along the basement wall.

 

"You woke my ass up for that? How's that my problem? You gotta go then go. I ain't stopping you. But I'm not gonna untie you and haul your ass upstairs for that. "

 

Castiel shifted, uneasy. Flushing somewhat in his discomfort and trepidation at the suggestion of such a thing.

 

"I promise to behave, Dean. I wont do anything you don't want me to do. But I'm very sore. I'd like to stand up for a little while. I promise...I'm not stupid, Dean. I know I could never get away. I wont attempt such a thing. I would just appreciate a little movement. My legs are cramping. Please?"

 

Dean tapped idly on the stone wall thoughtfully, little more freedom might not hurt. Plus he wasn't particularly in the mood to clean up after him. 

Also, he was fond of the idea of touching his new angel right now so he obliged. Kneeling on the mattresses beside him and undoes the cuffs.

 

"You do what I tell you. You stay by me. Make one move to get away and I will stick this knife in your neck. "

 

 

He patted at the blade hidden away in the pocket of his jeans. 

Once Castiel's hands were free, Dean began tying his wrists together in front of him before moving down to unclasp his chained ankles. They were chafed, bruised and sore. The air hitting them made him squirm a bit but he looked to Dean for instruction. 

Dean took his forearm and tugged him upward to sitting and nodded an okay. 

Castiel attempted to slowly get to his feet but the abrupt change in positioning made his head swim a bit and his body swayed in his weakened state. 

Dean caught hold of him. Firm hands gripped his waist and Castiel braced himself against his chest. Daring a look up at him, expecting anger but instead was met with...Patience he supposed.

 

"My apologies...."

 

Dean smirked somewhat and started to guide him gingerly towards the stairs. Each step made his body wince. He was sore all over. 

When he looked up at the length of the stairs he began to regret this request. The pulse in his bladder wasn't helping. 

While he was busy taking in the climb ahead Dean was busy taking Cas in. He really was a pretty thing. If he wasn't an angel he sure as hell looked like one. His sharp profile reminded Dean of the gracefully carved statues he'd see in church yards. He desired to touch him. Not just fuck him for the hell of it. He wanted to touch him and he wanted to feel Castiel lean into the touch. What an unfamiliar desire and yet, here it was.

Dean hesitated then ducked down a bit, slipping his arm under Cas's knees and the other around his back. Gathering him up into his arms.

 

"Here...I got it."

 

Castiel gasped a low surprised sound as he was unexpectedly scooped up. His hands were still bound so instinctively he just curved his body into Dean's to avoid being dropped. He didn't say anything. Just resigned himself to quiet cooperation as Dean reached the top of the stairs. 

Finally able to take in the surroundings. It was fairly small but put together. Nothing like the messy blood soaked domain  he was picturing in his head. It looked like any other him. Perhaps just a bit lonely. Nothing of personal value within sight. He scanned over the dinning area and into the living quarters. A TV. A couch. A...Door. Freedom. Safety. No more pain, threats. Fear. If only he could just get out the door and to somebody to help him.

His heart thumped in his chest at the prospect. 

His fantasy broken as he was walked out of sight of the door.

_Where is he taking me? Where are we...Oh...right._

__

 

__

Dean carried him down the hall, stopping outside the bathroom door. Castiel sighed, relieved to at least be able to use the bathroom. His captor walked him inside, bent to ease Cas from his arms, lifting the lid for him and cutting the ropes on his wrists. Castiel's eyes fluttered closed in gratitude as he was able to relieve himself. The strain in his bladder finally relaxing away to a calm dull ache. Give him a drowsy calm. Dean braced his back and Castiel turned his face to look at the bath. Sighing longingly. He liked showering twice a day. So all this time laying in his own blood and sweat was wearing on him. Dean followed Cas's eyes and the corner of his mouth twitched, amused.

 

"You're getting greedy."

 

Castiel responded by squaring his shoulders and looking on ahead.

 

"I was just looking...I'm sorry."

 

Dean looked down at the crust forming over the carved wounds in his angel's back and figured it would probably be best to clean it properly anyway.

 

"No... You want a bath? You can have one."

 

He offered, and Castiel didn't hesitate to agree.

 

"That would be very nice, Dean. I would appreciate that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****************************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

The warm water sloshed up onto his stomach as he slowly lowered himself into the water. Waved of movement licked at his wounds ending at his lower back. Pulling a sore hiss from his lips. 

Dean shushes him and helps him down all the way. It was a comforting warm change of pace compared to the cold basement. Dean draped a washcloth over the edge of the tub and handed Castiel a bar of soap to clean with. Castiel gingerly began to dampen the cloth and suds it up, gently taking care of himself. Washing the dirt and grim from his body. His arms, chest. Stomach. But, after being bound for so long. And the rawness of his wrists, he was growing uncomfortably tired. Reaching up to try and wash his hair rendered his shoulders so weak they almost trembled. Dean watched him closely. Watched Cas give it a few good tries then just dropping his arms down defeated, moving onto something else. Something easier.

 

 

Two hands came up over ether side of Castiel's face. He froze, wondering if he had some something wrong. Instead Dean's voice washed over his body. Calm. Soothing.

 

"Put your head back."

 

He ordered gently and began to pull him backwards into the water. Castiel's hands came up rapidly and clutched at ether side of the tub. Fearful for a moment that Dean was gonna push him under. Dean just sighed impatiently.

 

"Can't do it for yourself, can ya?  
 Well...Then knock it off and let me do it.  
 It's okay. Not gonna hurt you."

 

He assured and for whatever reason Castiel found the assurance comforting enough to let go of the sides and cautiously lean back so Dean could do as he pleased.

Dipping him back into the water, water almost finding it's way into his ears but Dean pulled him up in time to avoid it.  

A warm lather is worked through his dark hair, Dean's hands were surprisingly gentle as he cleaned away the evidence of Castiel's time in basement. 

Closing his eyes, Castiel became aware of a soft humming above him, Dean's gruff voice surprisingly sweet as Cas concentrated on deciphering the tune before finally recalling it. 

He smiled a bit because he too had a fondness for it. 

His captor noticed the out of place smile and paused.

"What's with you?"

"Hey, Jude?"

Castiel questions carefully, Dean just grew quiet.

"My Mom liked The Beatles...Used to sing that to me when I was a kid. Like when I was goin' to bed..Or not feelin' good. 

Crap like that..."

Cas didn't want to make him uncomfortable so he just let it be, nodding in understanding and let a silence fall between them.  
  

Long fingers combed through his locks before dipping him back one last time. A ring of suds formed around his head submerged in the water, an ironic halo.

 

His captor pulled him back from the muted calm under the water. As he was eased back up he opened his eyes, head still slightly tipped back to stare at Dean, who met his lingering gaze and held it. 

Castiel's tongue felt heavy with words that he dare not say. Timidly he cut his eyes elsewhere to not give himself away, but Dean had already read him and took hold of his chin to direct his head back enough to once again meet his eyes.

 

"What?"

"N- "

"You better not say "Nothing" unless you wanna piss me off. And lying is a good way to piss me off, Cas..."

Castiel swallowed hard and nodded to his discrepancy.

"Forgive me...I- I was going to ask...Ask if I could...Please not...Erm..."

"Cas... Before I give ya a permanent bath, spit it out."

".....Do I have to go back to the basement?"

He gritted out, the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes already tensing at the possible reprimand. 

But Dean was so far stoic and quiet, Cas took it perhaps as a cue to continue but he wasn't sure.

 

"I-- I could be good. I promise. I wont do anything to...To anger or upset you. I'm just- it's very cold down there, Dean. And I just go out of my mind with the the quiet. And my body hurts..I'll do anything you want. Just, please don't tie me down there again?"

Dean's jaw was set tense as ever as he looked over him. Debating.

"And where the hell do you suggest I put you? I can't trust you not to try and run off. We both know you don't wanna be here. You'd run. First chance you got. "

Castiel reaches up hesitantly to brush his fingertips against the back of Dean's hand as it still laid resting over his shoulders.

"I wont. I promise, Dean...Please. Just give me a chance?"

Dean removed his hand from Castiel's touch and went on ahead to grab a towel. Castiel stared at him, watching the small movements, trying to read him. But Dean gave nothing away. Just nodded for him to get up. 

The slippery tub floor was unforgiving but Cas was able to get to his feet easily enough. Dean draped the towel over his shoulders and Castiel reached up to take the edges and pull them around himself.

 

"You can sleep in my room with me tonight. I'll see if I can trust you. But you listen to me, Cas...You make one wrong move out of line and I'll be burying you in the morning. 

Got it?"

Castiel swallowed harshly in the back of his throat and nodded. He was certain Dean meant every word. 

He honestly wasn't sure how this would play out. If he had the opportunity to run, would he take it? Was it worth the risk?

He didn't know.

 

Walking, somewhat stiffly beside Dean, who had a firm hand closed over the back of his neck, directing him where he wanted him to go. Up a set of stairs, the soft carpeting beneath his feet was putting him at ease. Reminding him of home. 

Once they reached the top and Dean opened his bedroom door, there was nothing unsettling. The room was tidy and clean. Sparse. He clearly didn't have very much of material value. 

Castiel quietly scanned the area. His gaze settled on a small photograph that seemed to rest in a place of importance on Dean's bedside table. A beautiful woman, long blonde hair and kind eyes embracing a child from behind. 

Castiel's heart sank a little in his chest at this ghost from Dean's past. The source of all this pain and misery. His own as well. 

Of course he did not fault her. At that moment he felt nothing but complete empathy for her and her child. 

The child he was smiling so innocently in the picture. Who had no idea what fate was in the cards for him. 

Castiel for a brief moment an over whelming amount of love for this child, so strong it almost seemed dangerous. A reckless protective love that was surprising to even himself. Especially considering that almost all traces of this child were nowhere to be seen in the man beside him. 

There were moments he thought perhaps he caught glimpses of him, but they were as fleeting as a falling star.

He sat slowly at the edge of Dean's bed. Daring a glance up at Dean who stood in front of him. Castiel inhaled shaken, but composed as he held their eye contact. 

Dean reached down to remove the towel that was being used to conceal his body.

 

"You don't need this.." was all he had to offer, a slight side smile played over his lips as his eyes drank Castiel in.

  
_Ah...Of course. What I fool I was to think he'd allow something like this without any strings attached._

__

 

 __Dean's hands came down, tracing ether side of his collar bone. The other snaked up his throat and took hold of his chin. Tipping his head back slightly to look down at him.

 

"You're shaking...Cold?"

 

Cas's lips pressed into a thin line and he shook his head no. Even if he was. He was still resisting. Sensations thrumming through his nerves were once again showing themselves. He felt good from the bath. He was on a soft warm bed and Dean's proximity for whatever reason triggered desires of closeness that he was internally reprimanding himself for. Maybe it was just the exhaustion of his situation making him needy for a kind touch. None the less, as Dean touches his face. He finds himself leaning into it just a fraction.

 

"A little..."

 

Dean's hands wandered over him further. Down his chest and stomach. Caressing up again over his ribs. Making Cas shudder.

 

"Think you'll manage to bitch less this time?"

 

Castiel's heart picked up a beat at the question. His fingers curled into the edge of the mattress as he sat there statuary.

 

"....I wont fight you. I told you I would do anything. I meant it. I'll behave, Dean. Do what you wish with me. I--"

 

Pause.

 

He was treading on dangerous grounds. He knew this. Carefully attempting to earn more trust from him. More freedom. A chance to run.....A chance to be touched by him one more time before he runs. 

Castiel's jaw clenched as he pushed that thought from his mind. The truth of it scared him more than Dean did.

 

"I want you too...It felt good. For the most part and I..I would be alright with feeling it again."

 

Dean regarded him in surprise. He didn't sound like he was bullshitting. Like maybe he meant it. Maybe this would work out after all and he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. 

He dragged the palms of his hands over his body. Applying pressure. Urging him back, which Castiel stiffened at a bit but quickly went ahead and dropped back on his elbows. He didn't want to screw this up. Also the air in the room chilled his damp skin and a small part of him wanted Dean to take that chill away with his body pressed to his. Of course that was another thought he tried to ignore. 

He eased himself back onto the mattress, slowly due to his wounds, healing and closing but still there. A reminder of what Dean is capable of if Cas were ever stupid enough to forget.

Dean stripped away his few articles of clothing in no time, dropping off his shirt and unbuckling his pants. 

Castiel forced himself to look elsewhere. Hating himself for enjoying the sight of Dean's body. 

By the time he looked back Dean was already climbing up over him. 

He blinked up at him in innocent compliance. His captor hovered over him admiring his body. Settling himself down enough to straddle his thighs. Castiel squirmed a little. Weather it was apprehension or impatience he wasn't sure. 

In response to his movements Dean pulled up slightly and grabbed Castiel's wrists, pinning his arms to the mattress. Causing a sharp intake of breathe from his prisoner. Dean just ducked his head down to mouth over the soft spot just under his ear.

 

"Be good, Cas...Or I'll put you back. You don't want that do you?"

  
Castiel closed his eyes and shook his head in a, No. He relaxed his wrists under Dean's hands and tipped his head back, silently showing Dean he would cooperate. 

Dean's grunted in approval as he sucked patches of fresh clean skin in past his lips. Marking and bruising over his throat. Cas's hips bucked involuntarily to the sensation. Dean was rocking his hips,into him, grinning against his skin as he felt Castiel growing hard beneath him. Dean rutted into him, sliding his cock into the hollow of Castiel's perfect hips. He reached down to take hold of Castiel's cock and his own. The other hand  brought his homemade angel's wrists together, holding both with one hand while the other continued giving them both nice slow dirty pumps. Watching Castiel's face intently and the internal battle of trying not to get too lost in how good it felt, but after all the constant fear and pain it was nice to feel something good. And it did. It felt wonderful. His body arched as he keened under him. Dean panted out the pleasure into the crook of his neck.

 

"You like this don't you? You wanna stay with me... You're gonna stay with me. My angel wants to stay..."

 

Dean's gruffed out each word like he was carving it into stone. Castiel's long fingers curled, poorly trying to caress the hand clutching his wrists together. His mind was so lost in the pleasure of the moment he just nodded, agreeing to Dean's urging.

"S-stay...Yes...I'll stay with you, Dean. P-promise not to leave y-- ah! Please, yes right there...Just like that...Dean... _Dean.."_

__

 

__

 

 __  


Dean took a moment to spit into his palm, easing up on some of the friction, then returned his hold, he  
worked them both faster, adding an occasional flick of his wrist, a swipe of his thumb. Precome was dribbling down their shafts. Castiel's hips rolled up carelessly, eager for more. The muscles in his stomach started to twitch as he felt a familiar pleasured burn. Castiel was growing flushed and sweaty with every caress of the calloused hand.His body trembled, pinned beneath Dean's weight, his legs moved restlessly against the bed.

 

"That's it...Yeah, I got you..Want you to come for me. Just for me. No one else...

 

A couple more rough pumps and Cas's hips bucked and stuttered as he came in rough thick bursts, spilling out over Dean's hand. Gasping at the pleasure so strong it made his ears ring. Dean followed right behind him, fucking into his fist until he exploded heavy, shooting against Castiel's trembling tight abdomen. He slumped over top of him, panting and crushing their lips together.

 

"Mine..Mine...All mine."

 

Castiel inhaled Dean's breath, whimpering and floating away, his body relaxed and he caressed Dean's back.

 

"Yours..."

 

He whispered sleepily.

 

"Forever...."

Dean pulled back enough to look him over, taking in that promise and wanting to believe. Rolling off of Castiel to sit beside him. 

Once Castiel floated down from the high and looked to Dean, he just held his wrists up and together for Dean to bind them. He had learned quickly how things worked around here. Dean just him over and pushed them back down dismissively.

 

"I wanna see if I can trust you. Wont tie you tonight. You wanted a chance. This is it. Only one I'm givin' you. Now go to sleep, Cas..."

 

He cups the side of his face and presses a gentler kiss to his lips.

 

 

Castiel just stared up at him, a soft expression in his eyes for this man, amazing that someone capable of such cruelty could posses the ability for any kind of sincere kindness. 

But none the less Castiel could feel it, and in that moment was unable to stop himself from the next words that spilled past his lips.

 

"It wasn't your fault...."

 

Dean was in the midst of shifting himself to his other side when Castiel's words licked up his spine and spiked a nervous anger, and something else.  A wound so deep, it bypassed all the nerves. he could barely feel it anymore.  
  


He shifted back onto his elbow to stare at him with a blank expression.

".....What?

Castiel swallowed dryly but found his courage.

"Your Mother...What happened to her wasn't your fault. It is not blame that falls on you, Dean.  


A Mother protects her children at all costs. She was doing the only thing that could be done.  


Only one choice. To save her children. You..."

His captors chest fell heavy and slow, Castiel was unable to read if he had triggered a fatal reaction, but all Dean did was close his eyes.

"D'you really believe that?"

He questioned through a broken tone and Castiel sat up further, invading his captors face and looking into his eyes.

"Without a doubt...Dean, you think you are nothing but you are worth so much more than that. This is not all there is to you. I can see her in you. Her kindness. You have it. Fractured, but it's there. All the pieces to make you whole again are there.."

Dean just stared at him. Wanting to believe him. He was so heavy. Felt so heavy like he was sinking down under the confusion in his tortured mind. No way he could get out on his own, not without someone with wings to carry him.

"Don't..." Dean choked out. "Don't run, Cas...I need you. Stay... I'm trusting you to stay."

 

His victim's heart ached for his captor. The mark on his spirit. Marring and twisting him seemed more than any one person could bear. The endless corridors of his mind that must leave him lost. Castiel felt that he was willing to find him.  


To find that child and take his hand to pull him out of the shadows.

 

"I wont...Dean, I wont."

 

There stare held for long moments. A dangerous unspoken promise passed between them.

 

  
Castiel laid back, rolling to his side. Dean joined him. A hesitant hand draped over Cas's waist. He had no concept of time. He was pushed past the point of exhaustion. But at the same time he could not shutdown his body's defenses enough to sleep. He was ultra aware. Particularly of Dean's proximity. Asleep behind him. Now that his brain is elsewhere from their shared intimacy...If that's one could call it in this situation. His thoughts were becoming clearer with logic and not emotion. He had to face reality. And that reality was...As tragic as Dean's situation was...He was a live wire. A bomb that could go off at any moment. A man who abducted him and...Took a knife to his body. Threatened to kill him. Who HAS killed others. Heaven knows how many came before him. Who might have felt what he felt before one day Dean snapped and...His brain   painted a series of imagined thoughts that made him ill.   
When dawn was still long hours away, bad thoughts took flesh and began to walk.       

 

His eyes watched the shapes the shadows took in the darkness. Seeing through them and setting his focus on the cracked open closet door. 

The sleeves of jackets were some of the few things he could make out. Squinting his eyes in attempts to see deeper. 

Lowering his eyes to an indistinguishable form in the corner of the closet, light from the moon caught a glint in the darkness and the best he could deduce was he was looking at a small bundle of knives.

That made his chest feel a little heavier. His eyes scanned the door frame. Along the hinges, then to the door. Obvious imperfections in the wood catching his attention. Vertical digs into the wood in sets of four. 

His heart felt like a lump of nervous weigh thudding in his chest when he realized, of course....Fingernail scratches of some poor soul who had tried to claw their way out. 

He very highly doubted their attempts were successful and that was the reason for their absence here now.

 

He had to go.

 

Now.

 

  
_Father, be with me. Help me...Please._ __

__

 

__

 

 __  


Closing his eyes for a moments prayer, then looks over his shoulder to his captor whom appeared to be asleep. Subtle twitches beneath his eyelids told Castiel that this was probably the only chance he would ever have. He took it.

 

 

His skin was covered in a sheen of nervous sweat. This was the hardest part. Sliding his legs to the edge of the bed. Trying so hard not to nudge Dean awake.  
If he does rouse Cas figures he will just tell him he had to use the bathroom and pray he would be merciful.  
He wasn't counting on it though.  
Stealthily he inched himself closer to the edge of the bed. His lungs were burning in his chest, finally he realized he had forgotten to breathe.  
Sitting up and finally feeling the floor beneath his feet. Just sitting there a moment before forcing himself up quick but careful. Just standing there a moment, too terrified to turn around. But he does. Dean has not moved a fraction of an inch.  
A step backwards...

 

Nothing.

 

Another step.

 

 

Nothing.

 

The back of his arm touched the door frame and that was it. He hurried quickly out the door and down the stairs.

Reaching the end and shooting his gaze behind him. Nothing. His chest was burning again. Breathe. 

He looked to the kitchen, should he get a knife to defend himself? No. The door was right there. Just go. Just go.

 

He ran straight ahead. He grabbed the doorknob in his hands, turning the lock and yanking the door open. Abruptly it jerks back out of his hands. His breathe hitched in confusion as to why. 

Pulling again but not getting it open more than four or five inches. 

His eyes raised a bit and he exhaled roughly at the chain latch. 

Reaching up, his fingers tried to slide the chain from place. A fleeting moment he looked out the cracked open door to the outside.  
The wind sighed through the trees, and the fallen leaves rattled up the deserted walks and around the hubcaps of parked cars. It was a faint and sorrowful sound, and Cas felt like he might be the only one in the world awake to hear it.

 

The chain dropped from place to his relief and he gripped the knob, about to swing it open and run, he stopped. He believes his heart might have too. The floor creaked directly behind him.

 

  
_"Cas."_

 

  
_No...Please_

 

A rough grab of his bicep came from behind, yanking him back. Another hand came to slam the door shut in front of him. Dean began to drag him away, but Castiel wasn't going to go easy this time. He kicked back and must have squared Dean in the abdomen because after a harsh grunt the grip on his arm slipped.

 

He bolted, the door was shut and he was too close to Dean to open it and get away without being grabbed so he just ran ahead. Coming around a bend into the living area. Needing a window. He needed a window.

 _  
_  


_**"You're gonna die you stupid sonofabitch! I trusted you! Now you die!"**  
_

He did not think a moment would come in this ordeal where he would be more frightened then he was hen he was first abducted, but he was wrong. If there was ever a moment to be afraid, this was it. 

He made a foolish move and now was about to pay for it dearly.

 

Rounding the bend into the den area, his heart jumped into his throat spotting the cell phone sitting on a desk settled in the far corner of the room beside a window. Locked of course.

He charged for the phone. Clutching with both hands. Shaking thumbs punched in his cry for help.

 

9-1-1-

 

_"911, what is your emergency?"_

__

 

__

 

__

Parting his lips to speak, until he heard the heavy trudge of Dean's footsteps coming closer. Without a second thought he bolted. Stopping to look around fitfully. Not knowing where to go. 

He just ducked out of sight, behind the desk. Sliding himself on the carpet until he was crouched down in the hollow of the desk.

 

" **Castiel!"**

****

 

****  


Dean's voice boomed around the room as he entered. Cas braced his hands against the inside panels of wood as if preparing for a horrible storm about to touch down and tear him away from the earth.

 

"Please, Father..."

 

Whispering silently to himself. Waiting.

 

Waiting.

  
Maybe he passed by into the next room. Maybe he was--

_**  
WHAM!** _

The hammer cracked overhead. Splintering wood from the desk and scattering it about the floor.  


Castiel cried out ducking and covering his head as Dean made his way the corner of the now broken piece of furniture. Green eyes large and the anger and betrayal reflected back in them made Cas want to beg forgiveness.

"Dean....I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was coming back to you! I swear I was... I almost ran but I couldn't. Dean, Ple--"

Rough hands came down, grabbing at his biceps and dragging him out from under the desk with bruising fingers, attempting to yank him onto his feet.  


  
Castiel knew it was over. In that moment he knew there was only one way this was about to go, and he lost it.  
He tried pull back, to crawl back under under what was left of the desk. His lungs were on fire and he was crying. Because in that instant he understood he was never going to wake up early on a Tuesday just to watch the sun rise, or even burn his morning toast again. In the end, he would have given every cent, everything he held dear, just to be able to burn his toast again.

  


  
"Don't do this, please!"

The place was full of screams, his own, _he understood it was his dying hour_. Can you imagine the _enormity_ of that?

 

Dean, still trying to get him up but Cas was unwilling to rise from his knees. The ragged edges of his captors anger began to diminish. Replaced now with a cutting sense of Cas's desperation to live, and Dean... To his unending surprise. He wanted him to live. Castiel had betrayed his trust but in the end he felt something he had never felt before. The desire to protect him, even if it meant from himself.

Cas, still on his knees, found himself wrapping his arms around Dean's waist. Chocked sobs strangled his throat as he rested his forehead against Dean's stomach.

 

"Dean...Please."

 

The killer stared down at him. The smooth handle of the hammer he was wielding slipped out from his sweaty palm, clattering to the floor. 

Instead his hands came up, one to rest over his trembling angel's shoulder. The other cupped over the nape of his neck.  
He wanted him, suddenly and completely, with a desperate depth of feeling that felt like sickness. Everything he was and everything he had come for, it seemed, was secondary to Cas.

Dean's fingers curled under his Angel's chin, easing his head back and willing him to look up at him. 

And Castiel dared to look.

 

"You were gonna come back?" Dean questioned low. Uncertain.

 

Castiel's lips presses into a thin line and he brought his hand up to clutch Dean's arm. Squeezing softly and nods.

 

"I couldn't leave. I wasn't going to abandon you. I thought I could, but I can't. I don't know how to go back to that life. I'm willing to stay here. With you. "

 

 

Dean's jaw clenched and his hand came to rest against Castiel's hot wet cheek. Wanting to believe him. He needed him there. 

Swallowing thickly he nodded. Keeping himself in check. Not allowing new emotions to come to the surface. 

A soft caress which Cas automatically leaned into.

 

"I wont hurt you if you stay....I wont give you nothin' to run from. When I said forever I meant it. I want that. "

 

Dean's admissions carded through Cas's soul. He felt them. Knew somehow he could trust them. Even if he was wrong, he knew he wanted to take this on. He would risk it all for this lost man. He saw now that when he wasn't done saving him when he pulled him out of the path of that oncoming car. His job was not done. 

He would stay and continue to save him.

 

"I'll be here...Dean, I'll be here. "

 

The corner of his captors mouth curved up and a loving gaze and it was as if no other being in the universe existed. 

Which is why the when this harsh, loud sound came crashing into their little world, it almost made Castiel stumble back. 

He did not know where it came from or what it was until he became aware of the hiss of unpleasant winds coming through the broken widow and wrapping him in an inescapable cold. 

Sirens. 

  
_What's happening?  
_

Dean's firm grip on his shoulder brought him back to the moment, but as he looked up at him he saw startled eyes. A trickle of red ran down down, staining the corner of Dean's mouth. Darkness was slowly spreading under the shirt Dean had thrown on before he had come down the stairs to collect Cas.

 

Blood, Cas realized. It was blood.

 

".....Dean"

 

He went to reach for him as Dean started to slip down to his knees in front of him.  
It came in the space of two seconds, too fast to ever be believed in the daylight of later years, yet slow enough to recur again and again in nightmares, with awful stopmotion slowness.

Cas was only vaguely aware of the police outside. One trigger happy idiot prematurely firing off his weapon through the window. 

He was also aware of the painful truth that this was his fault. He called 911. They traced the call. This had to be the case.   

Dean felt the hit when it happened.Three heavy blows boxed him low in the back. He saw a splash of red hit the floor. Not painful, but an ominous intrusive sense of wrong and panic.

He still had time to think as he fell to his knees in front of Cas, who's hands took hold of him. One clutched between his bicep and shoulder. Right where he grabbed him the first time he tried to save him. 

Strong hands keeping him upright.

His other hand went to the side of Dean's face.

The room spun for him so he focused on the his angel in front of him. And for the first time he did not see anger or fear or disgust reflected back at him in those blue eyes. He saw a profound grief as he was held in place so protectively. It looked like love. 

It felt like love. The corner of his mouth curved into a crooked smile, parting his lips to speak but blood he hadn't noticed that was filling his mouth began to spill past his lips and Castiel panicked. Now taking hold of his face with both hands.

 

"Dean! Look at me...It's going to be alright. I promise. Just be still. I'll get help. I will."

 

Dean's brow furrowed. The effort to keep his eyes focused was becoming impossible, but still he tried. Things were getting dark. Blurriness on the periphery. Shadows cast on the walls started to become something else. They shifted and morphed. Finally he began to see what it was. Wings. Wings outstretching to comfort him. 

Wrapping around to envelop them both. 

The blood spilling from his body gave him the gift of seeing what his rapidly shutting down mind wanted to see.

 

 

His arms came around Castiel's waist and his forehead dropped forward against his. Weak but blissful.

 

"Are you him?.You are...You're him. I can see you now... "

 

Castiel paused, the correction was already on his lips but the sickening feeling in his gut told him that Dean was slipping. 

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. Tears trailed endlessly down his face as he wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's head. Keeping him close before nodding softly.

 

".....Yes, Dean. I am an Angel of the Lord and I've come to take you home."

 

His abductor choked on a sob and buried his face into Castiel's shoulder and in turn Cas gripped him tight. 

Turning his face into Dean's ear to ensure he heard him. 

His voice a low encouraging rasp as his fingers rubbed soothing circles at the nape of Dean's neck.

 

"She is....Waiting for you, Dean. She not far. I'll take you with me. Don't be afraid..."

 

Trying so hard to keep the brokenness from his voice. His lips brushed over Dean's temple and Dean's body shuddered.

 

Castiel swallowed back emotion as leaned into Dean's ear. 

Humming a soft medley.

 

  
_"Hey, Jude....Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better..."_

__  
Soft, sweet and mellow, the song came and lingered, following Dean down into a deeper sleep where thought ceased and the faces that came in dreams went unremembered.  
The world rushed away from him. Everything he was and everything he'd ever known diminished to a single burning-bright point of light. Then it went out. His hands slipped off of Cas. He died on his knees, leaning against Castiel's form.

They were both free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three Weeks Later.

 

 

_Zip._

__

 

__

 

__

That sound.

 

 

_Zip._

__

 

__

 

__

 

__

The sound of his captor being zipped into the body bag haunted him. Such a quick, efficient sound to a very messy end.

These memories came for Castiel at the most unexpected times. 

Right now he was squinting through the rising steam of his hot shower. Tipping his head back under the water. Relaxed, but lonely. It was strange having his freedom back. Returning to the calm everyday repetition and order he used to thrive on. 

Even stranger the moments where he resented these times because Dean wasn't there. Castiel has long since stopped caring about whether it was right or wrong to miss him. He just knew that for whatever reason he ached for him in a place deeper than his bones.

 

 

Reaching down, wearily cranking off the water until it fell to a barely there small stream that ceased altogether.

Pulling the curtain aside he hurriedly reached for the towel draped over the wrap. It was uninviting cold all of a sudden and he wanted to get out and back to his bedroom. 

Wrapping the towel around himself as he gingerly stepped out of the tub. Glancing at himself in the mirror above the skin, trying to see through the fogged glass. He looked like a ghost distorted in static, so he reached out to wipe away moisture to look more properly at himself. He thought himself to look empty. Only half here. 

Turning a step to direct his back to the glass. Glancing over his shoulder at the raised impressions of the wings that were given to him. They were as ever present as Dean's memory. 

He closed his eyes and shuddered as more cold chills licked along his damp skin. 

His hand reached around to trace his fingertips lightly over the raised scars of the skin. Becoming increasingly aware of the chill in the room. His visible breath, and how he could no longer stare at his wings as frost seems to coat the glass of the mirror.

 

_What is this? What's going on?..._

His dark brows pulled together as he stared at his outline in the frosted mirror. And what seemed to be another joining his. Coming up behind him. 

And Castiel shuddered again, but not from the cold. 

He felt a form press against his back and he just closed his eyes. 

This could not be real.

 

Familiar strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he instinctively submitted to the hold. 

He knew. He didn't have to look to know. 

Melting back against him as a possessive hand came up to close over his throat. Claiming him. Keeping him. 

Castiel's head dropped back without coaxing. Parting his lips. Humbled.

 

"....Are you him?"

 

 

He could feel Dean winchester's lips smirk against his ear and the press of lips to his neck.

 

 

"Yeah, Angel. It's me. Told ya I'd never let ya go."

 

Castiel's mouth curved slightly into a barely noticeable smile.

 

"Told you I would never leave. "

 

Opening his eyes to peer back at the ghost who had followed him out of his dreams. He didn't have much use for this world anyway. Not anymore.

Ever so slowly, the sound of the world around him faded to a faraway sweet hum and a comforting darkness inundated him in rocking warmth, and took him down to a silver fathom. 

There are worlds other than this for all of us. Even an Angel and a Devil. 

They found a home there, among the ruins of yesterday and the promises of tomorrow.

 

 

 

_**End** _

   


End file.
